How to talk to your student about gender

RMS is committed to building an inclusive school environment, and beginning discussions around identity for all students.  This article can help you join those discussions with your student. 

Devices and Social Media: a White Paper

RMS Policy

RMS Cell Phone/Device Expectations RMS strongly supports any and all family decisions regarding personal cell phones for students.  While we understand that some families feel the need for students to connect, recent research highlights the dangers and pitfalls associated with teenage access to social media, and many parents have embraced the “wait until 8” idea of granting a cell phone at the end of 8th grade.  At RMS we focus on teaching responsible use of technology throughout the school day and beyond, realizing these devices are part of our modern world.  As a result we adhere to the following guidelines:

• Cell phones should not be accessed in a classroom setting without express permission from the teacher.  This includes the playing of music through headphones.  Students need to ask permission.  
• Cell phones should remain stored (backpack or pocket) throughout the day, including during snack, lunch, and in the hallways.  Need to access phones constantly is a possible unhealthy attachment to the social media world.
• RMS provides monitored devices for school work, so personal devices are not necessary.
• All school information and interaction will take place through schoology or email - cell phones are not necessary for these applications.
• Phones are a personal luxury at school, not a necessity.
• While at school personal devices fall under the acceptable use policies of SAU 70.
• Teachers and Administration reserve the right to take a personal device for the duration of the day should it continue to cause disruptions.  

RMS Philosophy - Devices are a potential health issue.We work hard to stress the importance of “being present” in school.  Devices take students away from their peers, their work, and often lead them to unhealthy habits.Recent articles about detrimental health effects include:

The Dangerous Experiment on Teen Girls - from the Atlantic

Social Media Is Attention Alcohol - Also from the Atlantic

Just How Harmful Is Social Media? Our Experts Weigh-In. - From Columbia School of Public Health.

https://childmind.org/article/how-using-social-media-affects-teenagers/
https://childmind.org/topics/screen-time-technology/
https://www.commonsensemedia.org
The Big Disconnect: Protecting Childhood and Family Relationships in the Digital Age (2013) - Dr. Catherine Steiner-Adair
Additionally, the distraction of devices detracts from learning.  Students (and adults) are easily distracted by devices, so the best possible learning environment does not include free use of devices.  

Some individual family choices - we want to honor differences.  We know that different families approach the question of student devices with very different lenses.  Because of this we try not to be too prescriptive in terms of device policies outside of school, but we did want to share some talking points we have found useful when beginning the discussion with your student.

• It is perfectly reasonable and appropriate that adults place restrictions on device use (time, topic, space, etc.) for their students.  Strategies that have proven effective for some parents include:
• “Wait until 8,” allowing students to have a cell phone only in the spring of the 8th grade year.  (This was followed in the Boyle household despite the vociferous disagreement of my children)
• If a student has a device, not allowing screen time 2 hours before sleep (the detrimental effects of screens on sleep patterns - especially of adolescents - is well documented).
• There are not numerous companies that offer phones that talk and text only, with no access to the internet gaming and other apps that take up time.
• If a student has a smartphone, turning off the notifications during school hours will limit temptation to “just check.”
• If you need to get a message to your student, it is actually less distracting to call Nicole at the front desk and have us deliver it - rather than having a student try to read a text during class. 
• Some parents require students to charge devices in spaces in the house separate from sleeping areas.
• Some devices allow parents to limit access to the internet by time.
• Use at mealtime can be conscribed - devoting time to face to face interaction instead (this also cuts down on the “I spilled on my phone” issues).
• Working with your student to design a screentime contract to limit usage - examples available here:  https://www.screenagersmovie.com/resources

• The discussions around the devices and use will be ongoing and evolving, with the focus remaining on responsible use - the devices are here to stay in society.  The parameters and protocols behind family use can and should change - the dialogue will be key. 

So Far, So Good